my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
