i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
