he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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