I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
