I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
