This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
