you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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