I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
