I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
