Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
