sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Randomize
