Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
