I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
