But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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