Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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