Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
