my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I have fence marks all over my body
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
