We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
