Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You took a bar mat shot.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
