I'd wear matching sweaters with you
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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