And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
