Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Randomize
