and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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