Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
