Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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