I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
