i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he high fived his dick after we had sex
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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