I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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