If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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