trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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