I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
