He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
