Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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