i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
