I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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