Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
