you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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