dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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