Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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