Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
