forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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