Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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