We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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