Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
