Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
