is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
