he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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