Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
