Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
