I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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