I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
