Non-Jews are for practice
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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