At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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